Relax into the not-knowing

Relax into the not-knowing. What does that even mean?

Today was my beautiful mother’s birthday. We had a lovely family brunch to celebrate her life thus far, complete with a touching collage/card from my youngest sister for the ___st anniversary of my mother’s entry into the world.

It was a day of celebration. Flowers. Cards. Gifts. Song.

There is something comforting in the ritual celebration of birth. Birthday parties are often stressful for me, and I have rarely thrown them for myself. But today I appreciated the tradition.

So many parts of our lives are rapidly changing, sometimes in ways we clearly intended, and other times in ways we hadn’t fully anticipated. I know my mom can attest to this. Today I realized the value in taking one day (even part of a day) and acknowledging the ongoing accomplishment of a life. It was touching. It offered another point of connection. I had the opportunity to honor another.

Life is this amazing gift that I’ve spent decades trying to understand, categorize, organize, and manage. Full of warrior energy, I’ve fought to conquer, to wrap my head around it and bring it [life] into submission. The results thus far, while not entirely a waste of time (lessons have been learned), have been less satisfying than I would like. But what would happen if I simply relaxed into the not-knowing? Not having the answers? What if I was okay with the mystery? What if I spent a little more time with a beginner’s mind?

I’m guessing I could have enjoyed those birthday parties even more. And I would probably feel a bit more peace.

I am not suggesting that we make no attempt to have order in our lives. But I am acknowledging that there are some things that I simply cannot understand from this human perspective in time and space. Can I be okay with that? Can I accept a position of surrender?

This is a small part of a much larger discussion currently taking place, but I wanted to share it with you and I welcome your feedback.

What about you? What happens when you think about relaxing into the not-knowing?

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