Many of us are trained from an early age to work hard for future rewards. Life is hard and then you die. But if you behaved, and if you worked hard enough, and if you fell in love with only the right people (not the wrong people), then you’ll go to heaven and everything will be rewarded. That’s the version I was given. We all have our own specifics.
So I worked hard. Really hard. From the very first exam I ever took, I did my best to be at the top of my class, to take on leadership positions that would give me a leg up on the competition for scholarships and future awards. I added on extra-curricular activities to boost my resume. I kept a 4.0 GPA while serving in student government every year and working a part-time job the entire time I was in school. Then I graduated from high school. Yep. That was all before I turned 18.
Things changed slightly after that. I’d gotten to adulthood without ever really living. How did that happen? How is it that I don’t remember much of anything from high school except that I never made the basketball team, I didn’t want to talk about being homeless for a few months while going to a private school, and I felt most loved for my version of a stupid human trick on senior trip?
I can certainly come up with more memories, but not many that have much of an emotional attachment. I was driven. I put all my eggs in my future basket. That left very little attention in the present.
Needless to say, I don’t wish to relive high school. What I do wish, however, is that I had known then what I know now: All we have control over is the Now. This moment.
I can plan all I want, but if I am not actually present, if my attention is not in this moment, I am missing out on experiencing life in its full potency. This is it. Right here. In this moment.
When I think about neglecting my needs now because I have told myself I will be rewarded later, I need to stop and ask myself some questions.
1. Is this in line with my values?
2. Will this decision get me closer to or further away from my goals?
If the answer is a resounding yes, then I feel pretty safe to move forward. But this is based on getting really crystal clear on my values and my goals.
I value health. I value happiness. I value meaningful relationships. I value beauty and quality.
What do you value?
Do you feel it in the Now?
What can you do right now to feel aligned with your values?
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Bringing all that beautiful future vision in to Now, and seeding the present with it is so powerful. I sometimes ask myself, “if I were living my ideal future right now, what would I put in (do next)?”. It gives me permission to live my values right now. Life is so much more rich when I success at this.
In process = alive.
Thank you for this post. It’s setting a great tone for my day!